


Without Reason

by Rachello344



Category: 91 Days (Anime)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Canon, Suicidal Thoughts, with a lot of guessing as to the kind of ending they'll go for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-08-11 10:20:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7887469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rachello344/pseuds/Rachello344
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Now that Angelo has succeeded in his revenge quest, he realizes that he no longer has any reason to live.  Corteo insists he try anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Without Reason

**Author's Note:**

> This one's a little on the short side, but I wrote it in about an hour and a half last night. I'm in rare pair hell. Hopefully I'm not alone, but I'm not especially optimistic on that front. Consider leaving a comment with what you liked!

Angelo sat down heavily. He was finally free, his family avenged.  Staring down at the gun in his hands, Angelo’s vision began to blur, his eyes stinging.  He was crying.  For the first time since his family was murdered, he was crying.  He couldn’t seem to stop.

The apartment door opened. Angelo didn’t look up.

“Avilio,” Corteo gasped, “Avilio, what’s wrong?” Corteo hurried over to him, crouching by his knees, removing the gun carefully.  Angelo let him.  “Are you hurt anywhere?”

“They’re all dead. All of them, with Nero to blame for it.”  Angelo dropped his head back, ignoring his tears.  He found a stain on the ceiling and kept his eyes there.  “When his father died, he broke down.  Couldn’t take the guilt of it.”

Angelo laughed, almost hysterical. Nero had _screamed_ when he realized what had happened.  When the police came, he was already broken with the knowledge.

“He doesn’t even realize—he never found out! He never knew who I was or how lucky he was to be alive, how lucky that I spared his sister and nephew!”  He couldn’t seem to stop laughing now.  His lungs ached with it, his eyes still burning from the tears.

“Avilio—no, _Angelo_ , if your revenge is finished, why do you still suffer so?”  Corteo cupped his cheek, swiping his thumb to brush away a tear.  Angelo shook his head, laughter fading.  He didn’t have an answer to that question.  He wasn’t sure he wanted the answer to it either.

As if sensing that, Corteo moved on. “What are we going to do now?”  He rested a hand on his knee, gentle, too too gentle.

“What do you mean _we_?”  Angelo’s voice sounded sharp even to his own ears.  He felt like he was one blow from shattering.  He needed to leave, to _run_ , but there was nothing left for him.  Nothing on this earth could keep him now.

He clenched his hand, but remembered that Corteo had removed his gun. He’d need to get it back.  Then he could finally end everything, once and for all.

He could rejoin his family at last.

“Angelo,” Coreto murmured, “I know what you’re thinking, and I know that up to now I’ve been deferring to your judgment, but I think—this time, at least—you’re wrong.” When Angelo met his eyes, Corteo was crying, too, though he didn’t know why.

“So, what, you think you know what’s best for me all of a sudden?” Angelo scoffed.  “Like that’s possible.”

“You need to live,” Corteo said, simple and quiet. “Your family would want you to _live_ —a real life, not this hollow approximation.”

Angelo covered his face with his hands, shaking his head. “I told you, I have nothing to live for.  Revenge was _everything_ , and now…”

“You have me,” Corteo said. “You have me, and together, we’ll figure something out.  I’ve been saving the money we earned from the Vanetti’s and Fango, so now we can do whatever we want.  We can leave this town and never return if that’s what you want.”

Angelo could feel himself hesitating. “You’d come with me?  Leave your hometown behind forever?”  He kept his hands over his face, unwilling to look at his old friend.

“The only person in this town worth staying for is you,” he said. “I wasn’t exactly staying for sentimental reasons.”  Corteo’s thumb rubbed along his knee where his hand still rested.  “For now, all I’d like from the future is to go to school, but I could do that anywhere.  The real question is: what do you want to do?”

Angelo lowered his hands. Corteo met his eyes with an earnestness he didn’t know what to do with.  He felt…  He didn’t feel completely empty, but he wasn’t sure how else to define what he was feeling.

“Why are you doing this?”

Corteo smiled, wiping away a tear under his glasses. “I love you.  Always have.”  His cheeks were red at the admission, but the words were clear and simple.  Angelo didn’t believe him.

“Pull the other one,” he muttered.

Corteo sighed. “I’m not lying to you, Angelo.  Did you really not stop to question why I would agree to help you with something this dangerous when I didn’t even know where you _were_ for seven years?”  He squeezed his knee.  “I’m in love with you.  I don’t expect anything, but I actually thought you knew already.  You always seemed to know just how to get me to do whatever you wanted.”

The people who loved him always turned up dead. Everyone he loved died in front of him.  He frowned at him.

“I’m not safe,” he heard himself say. “Everyone else…  They all…”

Corteo smiled again, soft and sad. “Even more reason for you to stay close, don’t you think?  Who better to keep an eye on me and protect me?”

Angelo shifted in his seat. “You expect me to play bodyguard while you go to school?”

“Only if that’s what you want to do.” Corteo stood.  “You don’t need to decide right away.  But…  Please, don’t kill yourself tonight.  I…”  Corteo turned, his hands clenching into fists.  “At least…  At least say good bye.  I think you owe me that much.”

“I won’t kill myself without telling you.” Angelo plucked at a loose thread in his slacks.  “Could I…  The pallet, could I put it in your room?”

Corteo glanced back at him, eyes wide. “Yes, of course.  Do you want any help?”

Angelo shook his head. He needed time alone to think.

 

* * *

 

He could feel Corteo hesitating behind him. Angelo waved him forward, blowing out smoke as Corteo stepped carefully out onto the fire escape.  With quiet footfalls, Corteo sat beside him.  Silence settled between them.

“What do you want to study?”

Corteo wrapped his arms around his knees, looking over the edge of the building. For a moment, he remained silent, possibly considering his answer carefully.

“For a time, I thought I would study chemistry. I have the mind for it and the talent,” Corteo said, voice trailing off.

“But?”

“After everything, I don’t think it would make me happy.” He sighed.  “I suppose neither of us know what we want to do now.”

“We should travel,” Angelo said. “Backpack through Europe maybe.  Get away from here.”  He took a long drag off his cigarette.  “We’ll save our money so you can go to school when we find a good city.”  He could feel Corteo’s gaze resting heavily on him, but he ignored it, blowing more smoke.

“Thank you,” he said finally.

Angelo nodded once, offering Corteo his cigarette wordlessly. He took a single drag, blowing the smoke out as he passed it back to Angelo.

“I was about to go to bed. Are you coming inside?”

He stubbed his cigarette out on the rusting floor. Standing, he slipped through the window, offering Corteo a hand in.  Corteo smiled as he accepted it.

Angelo took a long breath in, centering himself. He didn’t know if he could live like Corteo and his family wanted, but he could ensure Corteo lived.  That was all that really mattered.  Corteo fidgeted a little, fingering the hem of his shirt, his eyes darting away and back again and again.

“What,” Angelo muttered.

“Can I hug you?” he blurted. His cheeks grew steadily redder, but he didn’t take back the question.  Angelo nodded, the motion jerky at best.  When was the last time he’d been hugged by someone who knew who he really was?  Knew him and _loved him_ even?

Corteo’s arms wrapped carefully around his shoulders, holding him close. Angelo allowed it, resting a hand on his hip.  Closing his eyes, he breathed slowly; Corteo smelled like cigarettes and the distillery with the faintest hint of cedar.  He rested his head on Angelo’s shoulder as if he was seeking comfort.

Angelo swayed closer, gripping Corteo’s hip. Closing his eyes, he tried to pretend he wasn’t close to crying again.  He couldn’t show weakness like that again, not in front of anyone.  He had to be strong in order to—

“It’s going to be okay,” Corteo murmured. “It might take a long time, but I think we’ll figure this out together.”

“We managed everything else,” Angelo said, voice dry. “It’s just living.  How hard could it be?”

Corteo laughed, pulling away to meet his eyes. His smile wasn’t the strongest Angelo had seen, nor the brightest, but somehow it was still the best thing he’d seen since he lost everything.  Unthinking, Angelo kissed his forehead before pulling away to set up his pallet.

“We should pack tomorrow and make our travel plans.”

When an answer didn’t seem to be forthcoming, Angelo glanced back at him. Corteo’s face was bright red, his expression dazed.  Angelo rolled his eyes, smoothing out his blanket.

“Uh, right, packing, tomorrow,” Corteo said, a beat too late. “We should get some rest, then.  Um, good night, Angelo.”

“Good night, Corteo.”

 

* * *

 

Angelo shoved Corteo against the wall, shielding him bodily. When Corteo looked like he was about to say something in protest, Angelo sealed their lips together, buying a precious few moments of silence.  He held them both still until the footfalls behind them had finally passed.

He turned his head, but kept Corteo where he was as he looked around. They seemed to be safe for now.

Corteo tugged at the hem of his shirt; Angelo met his eyes again. “That person was another tenant,” he said.  “But thank you for trying to protect me.”  His cheeks were hot enough that Angelo could feel it, close as they still were.

Blinking slowly, Angelo leaned back in, stealing one more kiss, this one for himself, not just to keep Corteo quiet. His lips were soft and sweet from the crepes they’d shared earlier.  Angelo licked his lips, chasing the taste.

Corteo’s gasp was soft, barely a puff of air across his mouth before Angelo was sealing their lips back together. Corteo’s hands found purchase in his coat, clinging as if he was afraid he’d disappear.  When he pulled back for breath, Corteo moaned softly.

“We—We can’t, here, we could be seen,” he mumbled, even as Angelo kissed him again.

“We should move back to the states,” Angelo said. “We can get a house together somewhere remote.  Maybe in the mountains.  Far from New York and Chicago, maybe near Colorado.”  He held Corteo’s face in his hands, stroking his thumbs over his cheeks.

Corteo nodded. “Okay,” he murmured.  “Whatever you want, Angelo.”

“What do _you_ want to do?” Angelo asked, one arm wrapping around his waist, holding him close.

“I want to write,” Corteo admitted. “I want to…  I want to write stories.”

“Do you need to go to school much longer for that?”

He shook his head. “We can leave whenever you like.  But you never told me what you wanted.”

Angelo rested his forehead against Corteo’s. “You.  I want to protect your smile.”

As if following an order, Corteo smiled at him, warmer than the sun and endlessly gentle. “Will you let me find yours?  Your real smile?”  Corteo pressed a soft thumb to his lips, drawing along the bottom in a smooth line.  “I want you to be happy, too.”

Angelo tried to smile, but it didn’t seem to reach his face. “I think…  I’ll get there eventually, as long as I have you by my side.”

“Always,” Corteo agreed. “I’m yours.”

Angelo kissed him.


End file.
